this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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