apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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