pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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