I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
