you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
