Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
sex in a hospital.. check
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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