Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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