you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
