Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
I puked a lego.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
