is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
This baby is an asshole
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
