i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
