its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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