I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
