whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
