i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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