he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
