i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
