I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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