i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
