You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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