Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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