So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
