i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
