We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
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