i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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