quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
