If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
