you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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