you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
