i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
