Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
