I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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