smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I need mimosas to revive my soul
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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