i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
