what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
