nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
