I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
