How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Girls should come with a carfax report
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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