I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
