"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
