when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
