May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
