she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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