what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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