i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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