Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
