one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize