I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
