If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I believe in your delicious
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
