You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
