What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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