I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Randomize
