Non-Jews are for practice
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
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