you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
