I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Randomize
