K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Randomize
