white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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