It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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