oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize